The Scales say What!

So this post is because I was reading Ali's blog yesterday and she told the story of when she first became aware of her weight and what made her become aware of her weight. She asked everyone to share there stories so here I am going to share mine.

I have 2 times in my life that it was put in my face I was not the skinniest. The first time was middle school and i was in the 7th grade. I have always been a little over weight but nothing like I am today. My mom had just bought me a new pair of black jeans that she had found for fairly inexpensive. When she gave them to me i noticed the size on them were a size 5! At the time I was about a size 10-12. I never thought I could fit into them nut after I tried them on I was surprise to see that they fit! I proudly wore them to school in excitement that they were such a small size. A group of us were walking in from out doors and there was a teacher in the group with us. Some how we got on the conversation of pant sizes and i proudly announced that i was wearing a size 5! The teacher looked over at me and without hesitation said that those are probably labeled wrong cause there was no way those were a size 5! I quickly started to doubt myself and wonder why it was noticeable that these were not a size 5! Yes they probably were labeled incorrectly but for a day till that moment I felt good about myself!

The other thing I remembered was in 11th grade. We had just moved to Pagosa Springs, CO and I was trying so hard to fit in. I automatically fit in with the band people but I longed to be "popular". I had never been popular and actually was mad fun most of my life. Up till high school I had issues with my speech and I my ability to say my "R's". Well my name being Jennifer made it difficult to say so I shortened it to Jenni or Jen. But back to the subject I was trying so hard to fit in and be popular I tried out for cheer leading and made it! How exciting was that! When we lived in KS my best friend was a cheerleader and I always wanted to be one also but never made the team there. The team had already ordered there new uniforms but we (me and another girl who joined late) were able to use some older uniforms. There were 2 choices to chose from. One was my size and the other one was a little a lot bigger then the first one. Well the other girl who joined late with me was about the same size as me but maybe at the time a little bigger. Well our coach being the person she was gave the smaller one to the other girl and I got the bigger uniform. When I questioned her she basically said I was bigger and that the one she gave me would fit just fine. Well it didn't! It was to big and the skirt was way to long. My mom being the wonderful woman she is altered my skirt in length and a little bit in size that way I did not feel like such an out cast. I remember my dad coming up to the school and confronting my coach about the whole thing (that is my dad, very protective of his family and will do anything for us).  This whole thing has always been stuck in my head. The words of me being bigger and at that then being the biggest on the team hurt way more then I could ever imagine. Even though my parents were amazing and did all the things they did for me I don't know if they ever knew how much I started to doubt my self and my weight at that point in my life. From that moment on it seemed like I always struggled and never really was happy about my weight.

So there you have it, my 2 stories that made me realize my weight and how hurtful things can be in life and stick with you for longer then you ever thought.