So After receiving 2 messages from friends on FB saying my blog had been spammed I decided to come check it out. Thank you Ginny and Crystal because of you and letting me know about my blog It made me want to blog again! LOL.
Some Of you may know and some of you may not know but my life has been a bit of an uphill battle the last 4 months. Looking back I am thankful now for all I have gone through as it has led me to where I am right now which is very happy. So we are all on the same page let me fill in the gaps for you.
Back in February my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. This was after being in and out of the hospital several times. Grandma was a survivor of Breast cancer but somehow the cancer came back and took over her whole body. On March 8th 2011 My Grandma went to heaven where she no longer has that pain and she is now with my Grandpa, 2 people in my life I truly miss. I have taken My Grandmas death a little different then usual. I found myself very depressed and upset about it but not emotional or crying like I normally am. Then again during this time...I was going through some other things.
In February Matt and I decided we would move to Portland Oregon. We needed a new beginning and a fresh start. Jobs were good out there and the over all economy was much better then here in Kansas. Not to mention it is Beautiful there. We had it all planned. The move was perfect. We were using our income tax return for the move had everything arranged then the day came we were to get our money and we didn't. Long story short there i had an old student loan I had forgotten about. When we didn't get the money we at first gave up on the move. But after a lot of brainstorming and assistance of friends we figured out a way. I booked a flight to Portland for 3/9/11 and Matt was to follow out with the girls the end of the month. I was able to stay with My good friend Shelley who helped me in more ways then 1 and I was able to find a job and arrange an apartment for when Matt got to town. Well my flight to OR got a little delayed as if you would look to see when I booked the flight for....and then go up and look to see when my Grandma passed. So after struggling with frontier and paying a lil extra I was able to fly to Seattle WA. Originally I was going to just rent a car and drive down to Portland but then realized that every credit card/debit card we had was in Matts name... So that was not an option. I then booked the train....which was canceled the morning of due to mudslides. So eventually I was able to take the Bus....and I got to Portland after a very long struggle to do so. I spent 3 weeks there without Matt. During this time I was able to realize that my wanting to move to Portland and everything was to run away from a problem that could not be ran from.....
Some of you may know, Matt and I have had a lot of rough times in our marriage. We separated last year but got back together to try to work things out. While I was away in Oregon I came to the realization, I really was not happy in my marriage. Matt is a great guy, and someone I care about. However he and I's "history" has put a few scars on me. Where I have forgiven him....I can no longer Love him like a wife should love her husband. Needless to say, I was a Bitch and asked for a Divorce shortly after he arrived to Portland. I kept hoping things would be different, but they never were. So Matt and I are now going through our divorce and it has been a struggle. We both relocated back to Kansas. I came kicking and screaming, as I really did not want to come back. But now being back am so thankful to be around my family and friends.
So you may ask, how do these events lead me to be the happiest I have been. Well, When I moved back to Kansas, I was forced to get another job. I took on a job at kgbdeals (similar to groupon). I worked there about 3 weeks before I realized, telemarketing is not my thing. I knew I wanted to get back into property management so i began to pursue looking for a job there. I applied for a job in Great Bend Kansas (about 120 miles away) as an actual property manager. I was not sure if I would get it as I have not been a property manager before, I had only been a leasing agent. However, I did get it! The down side Is i have to relocate now....LOL. I am so excited about this opportunity to relocate and start a job up that I normally would not get a chance at. I for once am trying to move forward with my life instead of dwelling in the past. I am planning a few things in my future which include "my dreams". To give you all a hint, I filled out my application for my passport today! (now just need the $$$ to file it). I have chosen to move forward! My dreams and everything will be fulfilled and I will live this life to its fullest!
Ok, so now onto my weight loss. The bad news, I have not lost a thing...BUT the good news, I have not gained either.... Right now, my focus is trying to just be healthier (physically and mentally). With that, I am sure my weight will come off some... However, I am learning to be happy with who I am and not what I look like. This is a struggle for me and something that does not come easy at all. I have some amazing people in my life that make me strong and help me with this. I am learning that I am a beautiful and "stunning" person even if I am overweight.
Well, I think thats about it for now. I will try my hardest to blog more often. Something so peaceful and relaxing about blogging. I have always loved to do it when the house is quiet and everyone is in bed. Turn everything off and let my mind go. :-)
Oh and Happy 4th to all of us Yanks! :-)
